Avoiding Thanksgiving Love

Thanksgiving is almost here. Which means turkey, pumpkin pie, family, football, Christmas decorating, and, for those of you who are young and single, endless questions about your love life. And, if you’re anything like me, you wish people would stop asking you about your love life. Because it probably doesn’t exist. Or, like me, you have been hung up on the same guy for more years than you’d like to admit, and you wish he would just get off the couch and ask you out already. While, at the same time, wishing he wouldn’t because that’s terrifying. But, whatever your situation is, I know you don’t want all those questions. So, here are some of the best ways to avoid annoying, non-strop questions.

If you want the love questions to stop completely, tell your family you don’t have time for a love life. Because you’re too busy studying quantum mechanics. Then, you’ll sound super smart and impressive. Tell them you’re waiting until you know more about it so you can impress all the guys by talking about it. Or, say that, like me, your true love is Chemistry so you don’t need a boyfriend unless he is an atom of xenon. But, if your family is anything like my family, they will probably also ask you what quantum mechanics is, once they’re done questioning you about your love life. If that happens, you may be out of luck. Unless you know what quantum mechanics is. And if you don’t, just use a bunch of Chemistry terms like orbitals, electron densities, and hybridization, and you’re golden. Eventually they’ll give up and move on.

If you want to make it awkward and embarrassing for others, ask your siblings about their love life. I have two older sisters, so this technique works pretty well, because I just ask them. And they, being older than I am, are more likely to have a boyfriend, and are closer to the age where people, myself included, feel it appropriate to roast them about not having one. So, I just turn the question at them, and they get to feel awkward about it. Because my parents want grand kids, and they have not hesitated to let us know that. But, I’m way too young for that. So, I make my older sisters answer the awkward questions about grand kids and their chances of arrival within the next decade. If you don’t have any older siblings, or none who are actually single, ask your younger siblings. Nothing is cuter than asking an elementary school kid who they like. And the high school age siblings love it when they are asked. Because all their friends are in relationships and they love felling insecure about it, especially at home.

If you don’t have any siblings, or cousins, to place the awkwardness on, you could just make up some ridiculous story. Like seriously, the more pathetic the better. Talk about that one girl you saw while walking to class that one day that you made awkward eye contact with. How you have fallen head over heels in love with her, but you don’t know her name. How she made your heart stop when you looked at her from across the pathway. How you can’t stop thinking of her. How you think it’s love at first sight. Make it sound pathetic. Maybe add some tears. They’ll think you’re crazy and probably leave you alone. Or put you in a mental institution. Either way, you’re free. If you’re a guy, you could tell them you have a whole line of girls waiting for you to propose. You just have to make them suffer a little more before you make up your mind. If, like me, you’re a girl, you could talk about how you have a bunch of guys trying to pursue you. But, you’re making them fight to the death to earn your heart. Like the knights of medieval times.

Or, you could be openly honest. Seriously, you may be surprised about their reaction. Tell them about that girl you like and how you might finally get the courage to ask her out. How she makes you feel, but how you’re unsure about how she feels. They may be able to give you some great advice. Tell them about that guy you’ve liked for years and how you’ve tried to throw subtle hints at him, but you’ve never been good at throwing. Maybe they’ll help you brush up on your throwing skills. Tell them how he makes you laugh, or about his great character. They may be able to help you out. Or, if they are like my family, they will mock you. And tell you “they told you so.” And start rooting for you, and force you to, probably falsely, get your hopes up. They’ll tell you they totally called it, but that it’s not a bad thing. That he’s a good person. That you should get your hopes up. They should be supportive, for the most part. I hope.

If worse comes to worse, you could always divert the conversation to politics?? Because that’s always a great idea.

But, regardless of however you choose to handle the awkward love questions, remember to be thankful. Be thankful for love. Be thankful that love can permeate your life, by family and by friends. Be thankful for what you have been given by those who love you. Be thankful that Love himself died for you. And, remember to love.

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