First off, I hope it’s okay that I wrote you this letter. I know it’s in a semi-public forum where it could possibly be seen by people neither of us know. But, if there is one thing you should know about me, it’s that I write. A lot. It’s how I process. It’s how I think. It’s how I cope. I write things to people, and I write things for people. Because one day, a few years ago, I decided that I had things to say. However, speaking about those things is not one of my strengths. But writing is. Putting my thoughts into words and writing them on paper is. So, I write things. Things to those I’ve met about things that have happened. Things to those I have never met about things I don’t know will happen. Things to people I know. Things to nobody, but also to everybody. Some I share with others. Some I start but never finish. Some I post for the world to access. Some I leave in the dozens of notebooks scattered around my room, never to be seen or read by anyone but me. But, dear roommate, dear friend, there are things I want to tell you. And maybe there are things that others need to hear too. So, I hope it’s okay that I’m writing you this, here, because there are so many things I have wished to say, but couldn’t find the words to.
Dear roommate, in three weeks, we officially move into college. We leave our parents and our homes, and we move into a room that we will call home for the next year, with a person we call our friend. And I am beyond excited! I am excited to go to college and pursue my dreams and my passions, and discover more of God’s plan and purpose for my life. I’m excited to see what God has planned for your beautiful, wonderful, amazing life. I’m excited to see what He’s going to do with us, and through us. I’m excited to see you fulfill your dreams. And I am excited to share this journey with you.
However, I do feel a little bad for you. Because I am a little insane. Sometimes I rant for no reason about things that don’t matter. I tell too many nerdy jokes- most of which no one understands or thinks are funny. I love puns- almost to a point of annoyance. I tell a lot of dad jokes for a person who is not a dad. I discuss football a lot for a girl who spent the first 15 years of her life claiming she hated it. I’m worried that you don’t actually know what you got yourself into. But, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Because you’re awesome. And I’m not too bad myself. Plus, I know you’re a little insane yourself. Your insanity may just be less obvious than mine.
I’m glad you agreed to by my roommate. I’m glad I met you at Quizzing Nationals however many years ago. And I am glad you decided to come to this side of the world. Because there are so many Rochester things you have missed out on in your life, and there are so many Wegmans you haven’t experienced.
But, I know that with this new adventure comes many scary things. For both of us. And, as excited as I am, I am also terrified. The beginning of something new, being away from our parents, becoming adults, having real responsibilities- all these are things I have avoided up until this moment because they scared me. And I know that it may be even a little more frightening for you. Because you are traveling 800 miles from home. So, there are a few things that I would like you to know before we embark on this adventure together. Some things I hope will make both of our transitions a little easier.
First of all, mi casa es su casa, chez moi est chez toi, my house is your house. Literally. Because you are moving 12 hours from home. And I am moving 5 minutes from home. So, anytime you need a home, come to mine. It’s always open. Any break that you don’t want to make the journey home for but you also don’t want to stay on campus alone for. Any time you want a home cooked meal, or a place to crash, or even just a place to get away. You’re always welcome, even if I am not going to be there. Even if no one else is there. Make yourself at home. It’s been my home for 18 years and now it’s yours too.
Secondly, my grandparents live within walking distance. You will be introduced to them. And they will love you. You will immediately become one of the grand kids. They’ll ask about you if they haven’t seen you in a while, and they will always do their best to make sure you know you’re welcome. So, know that their house is always open. And my grandma will try to feed you every time you show up. She’ll convince you that you’re hungry, even after you just ate more than you thought was even possible. So, if we do go to their house, feel free to eat. But also feel free to say no. Because she always makes way too much food anyway.
As you know, my mom works on campus. So, expect me to stop by her office from time to time. If you ever need anything and don’t have a way of getting it, let me or her know, and we’ll make sure you get it. Also, she has connections, and she knows things. Which can sometimes come in handy.
I have shared a room for almost 15 of the 18 years I have been alive. Which means having a roommate is nothing abnormal for me. In fact, not having one is weird. When my sister moved into college last year, I couldn’t sleep well for a few days because I wasn’t used to the silence. But, I understand that you haven’t shared a room your whole life. And I understand that it takes some adjusting. So, I’ll be patient. But, don’t worry or freak about making sure whatever you are doing is okay with me. Don’t feel you need to change your behaviors to please me. I shared a room for 15 years with my sister, who is as close to my opposite as a sibling can be, and we both managed to survive- mostly. Sharing a room has made me an expert at ignoring annoying messes until they are picked up (or I fall and decide to pick them up myself). It has made me more adaptable and indifferent about things. I have learned to have opinions but to know when they matter and are important. I am better at picking and choosing which battles are worth fighting when it comes to rooms and shared space. I have also gotten pretty good at making myself scarce when my presence is neither wanted nor beneficial. So, relax and don’t worry about it.
With this being said, it does work better if you communicate. Tell me what is bothering you. What I am not good at is reading passive- aggressive behaviors or subtle hints aimed toward me. So, just tell me what the deal is. I will be a lot less angry or frustrated if you just tell me right away. Because I can’t fix a problem that I don’t know is a problem. And I think communication is the key to every relationship.
I, like you, like my sleep. But, I also do my best thinking, coping, processing, and writing, at night. And sometimes, I can’t sleep until I think, cope, process, and write. So, some nights may be restless for me. You may hear my pen scratching on paper, or my fingers tapping away, and I apologize ahead of time. If I disturb you, let me know, and I’ll process silently, in my head. Or, I’ll process silently by having a conversation with God, because that works well too.
Being my roommate may be difficult at times- as it is with any roommate. So, I’m sorry for being stupid. Or stubborn. Or whatever. On the plus side, we have similar personalities. Which could work out great. Or it could end terribly. But, I’m betting it’ll be great.
I know there is a lot in store for us and for those around us this year. And I am happy that you will be there through it all, and I hope you’re glad I will be too. Through that class we hate. Through those late nights and early mornings. Through finals week, when all we want to do is kill each other. Through our first “roommate fight.” Because it’s going to happen- we’re girls, it’s inevitable. Through the guy drama, because guys are dumb, and so are we. Through the heartbreaks that I pray never happen- to either of us. Through the chemistry experiments and nursing simulations gone wrong. We’ll be there for the friendship drama. Or that annoying girl on our floor. Or if one of us is the annoying girl on our floor. Through the awkward social situations that the two of us semi-introverted, socially awkward, weird, nerdy girls will get in.
You may have to deal with some of my weird obsessions. Like elephants. And chemistry. And good literature. And dissecting animals. In fact, just the other day I was trying to decide how many elephants is too many to bring with me, and if it would be reasonable for me to bring my favorite novels to college. Fortunately for you, I decided on only two or three elephants. And only one novel, besides my book on chemistry and the elements. And I chose to leave my taxidermy rat at home.
Fortunately for you, your roommate has many talents. One of which includes social media stalking. You know, in case that ever comes in handy. Another one, unfortunately for you, is getting in the way. Or having my things get in the way. At least I have a great taste in music though.
Freshman year is tough. But it’s also amazing. And I can’t think of anyone better to share it with. So, thanks, dear roommate. Thanks for agreeing to journey with me. And thanks for being your amazing, beautiful, hilarious, wonderful self. I can’t wait!